3 am

A SCOTTISH LOVE POEM

A'coorse ah love ye darlin'
Ye're a bloody tap notch burd.
An' when ah say ye're gorgeous
Ah mean iv'ry single word.
Ah don't mind a bit o flab.
It means that whin ah'm ready
There's something therr tae grab.
So yer belly isny flat nae merr
Ah tell ye, ah don't cerr.
So long as when ah cuddle ye
I cin get mah erms roon 'therr.
Nae wummin wha is your age
Hiz nice roon' perky breasts.
They jist gave in tae gravity
Bit ah know ye did yer best.
Ah'm tellin ye the truth noo
Ah nivir tell ye lies
Ah think its very sexy
Thit ye've goat dimples oan yer thighs.
Ah swerr oan mah grannies grave noo
The moment thit we met.
Ah thocht ye wiz as guid as
Ah wiz ivir goanie get.
Nae maitter whit ye looks like
Ah'll aywiz love ye dear.
Noo shut up while the fitba's oan
An' fetch anither beer.